By Subhash K. Jha, IndiaFM
life been treating you?
Fabulously! I'm 31, and rocking. And though I do at times explore
the possibility of other options, I wouldn't have my life any other
way. 2006 has been personally tough. But I'm an eternal optimist. I
say, 'All right God, you've chosen me for this tough test. But please
don't make it into a habit.' I'm His favourite child. I wish the same
Was 2006 your toughest year?
That would be hard to say…I've faced all the hardships in my life as
and when they've hit me. Whether it was the sudden spurt of success as
Miss Universe at 18 or the battle in the courts to adopt my daughter
Renee, or my relationships, failed or successful, they've all been full
of turmoil when it happened. At 31, I realize nothing has been that bad
because at 45 I'll feel everything has been pretty much worth the
There's an insatiable appetite to know more about your current man
Manav. Why are you for once so secretive about your relationship?
As you get acclimatized to the media, you adopt a less bindaas
approach to the limelight. Right now I feel, this is my life and I
don't need to justify myself. As you mature with time you realize
relationships aren't just about one person. The privacy of the other
party in a relationship does matter. I may not be secretive about the
relationship. The other person is. That's it. It isn't easy specially
when pushed to a corner about being answerable about my relationship.
As long as I can answer without compromising the other person, I do it.
I can't let other people suffer for the choices I make in life. People
are most welcome to be inquisitive about my life. I do enjoy sharing
So is this relationship more serious, therefore more private?
No the secrecy, as you call it, is purely because the person has
asked me not to talk about it. I'd rather choose what my heart tells me
to. I've a tremendously strong conscience. I'd never do something that
makes me uncomfortable.
Do you feel the need to find a man who loves you for what you are
rather than for being 'The Sushmita Sen'?
Gawd! You always did come up with wonderful questions. God knows,
the image is of no importance to me. And you can't go looking for love.
It would hardly depend on who I am. It'd greatly depend on who he is. I
believe all these relationships that you go through in life are
actually a part of that cosmic design where love and marriage finally
finds you. I believe that will happen to me also.
Madhuri finally settled down with a US-based doctor who didn't watch
That's tough to believe. But I'll take your word for it. God bless
Madhuri's equation with her husband. I saw a picture of her and husband
with their two sons. And my heart melted. Blissful relationships are
still possible in today's world. As for me, I'd rather have a man see
any and every thing I've ever done, and then be able to connect on a
Does your heart crave for marriage now?
It craved for marriage forever. I've always been a home-lover, in
spite of living a very public life, which I enjoy in my own way. I'm a
hundred-percent all-there person. When I'm at a public event I wouldn't
want to be at home, and vice versa.
Your two bravura performances in 2006 in Chingari and Zindagi Rocks
Sometimes I feel, why do I put so much love, effort and passion in
all my roles? Over the years I came in with no expectations from
myself. It was more like….okay someone was offering me a chance to be
in the movies with good money, so why not? I don't have that feeling of
initial excitement any more. Now I've actually started enjoying acting.
Cinema allows me to exhale. It's no longer about impressing other
people but expressing myself. That's what makes me feel so liberated.
That's why when I'm accused of living in an ivory tower; I've to say
that whether it's life or cinema, one can't function in isolation.
Having said that, I must say I love ivory (laughs).
Do you feel the need to cut loose from the bustle?
Of course! Everyone has that need. Whether its meditation or a
vacation, you do need to get away. We all need to go into that ivory
tower once in a while to exhale. Otherwise we'll be burnt out. But when
I take a vacation, I'm accused of being the diva in an ivory tower.
But you're a diva!
Can you please define diva for me? Because I'm very confused. Of
course I'm unreachable. But never unapproachable.
I feel Bollywood still has a problem finding the right place for
I've never looked at this from their perspective. Speaking from my
own perspective, I do understand my audience. I know a Main Hoon Na
thrills them. And I do it only because I know that's what audiences
expect from me. But they've to allow me to do the stuff I enjoy doing.
Otherwise I'll stagnate. By the way I love doing David Dhawan's films.
And we'll be working together again.
You can run around trees. But you've a problem running around the
heroes, don't you?
Yeah, that's always been a problem. I'm accused of remaining in my
shell. But if you know what’s getting out of that shell entails, you'll
be very proud of me. Salman has always been a friend. But many other
actors are disappointed because I don't socialize with them after-
hours. Yes, I'm chirpy by nature. But to show up at every do wouldn't
make me comfortable. I remember during Main Hoon Na, I went around all
over the place trying to help Shah Rukh with his bad back. But when it
came to chilling around with Farah and co., I wasn't around.
But you're yet to find a favourite hero to pair with.
What are you talking about? I've paired up with the greatest hero of
The image of the strong woman haunts you. Is it a curse?
Well….from the history of the heroine in Hindi films, I feel I've
been a big sore-thumb. Having said that, I must tell you, I came here
to make a place for myself which no one else has. And that wasn't about
a Friday-to-Friday equation. By God's grace, every time a film of mine
bombs—which is rather regularly—I've kept growing and diversifying into
different areas of the entertainment business. My last film has never
determined my fate in the public eye. I got a Main Hoon Na after a line
of duds. It's not as if I don't want my Fridays and big banners. It's
just that a lot of people in the industry have very fixed ideas about
how a working women needs to conduct herself vis-à-vis the men. I can't
stoop to that level to get work. I don't want to.
How different is the 30s from the 20s?
Oh, it's like a decade of brilliance. It's beautiful because I still
have that sense of wonderment about life, though it now comes with an
understanding of how it works. The kind of life that has been bestowed
on me is simply so fascinating. If you were to breathe the air that I
do, you'd realize what I mean. I don't live my life by numbers. It's
not about 20 or 30. It's just a figure.
And what a figure!