May 26, 2015 11:11 PM
Forgive and forget. Forgive people. Then forget them.
May 26, 2015 07:42 PM
Weight Loss Tip: Throw your weight around.
May 26, 2015 05:30 PM
Foosball is played by people who love to play Football while making Shish Kebabs.
May 26, 2015 01:45 PM
Never marry a woman who's won debate competitions.
May 25, 2015 09:50 PM
History repeats itself, just like my uncle when he's drunk.
May 25, 2015 03:46 PM
Cannes is a Film Festival trapped in a Fashion Festival's body.
May 23, 2015 07:55 PM
Okay. But From Where? https://t.co/SjpYn2mJyQ
May 23, 2015 07:53 PM
Eventually, all marriages become same sex marriage.
May 23, 2015 07:45 PM
Congratulations Ireland! I don't have any problem with legalizing same-sex marriage in India too, as long as they don't make it compulsory.
May 23, 2015 07:26 PM
You haven't won an argument with a woman until she says "Whatever!"
May 23, 2015 07:14 PM
When Scotch is the groom, Ice is the bride, and Bartender is the priest, the marriage is bound to be "on the rocks".
May 22, 2015 06:56 PM
Before mobile phones, what did people stare into, to pretend to be busy?
May 20, 2015 08:36 PM
Grey hair is hereditary. We get them from our kids.
May 20, 2015 08:31 PM
Try to look older. Try to look younger. Then die. Life!
May 20, 2015 05:44 PM
Every time a woman says 'you don't know anything about me', I wonder if she's a suicide bomber.
May 18, 2015 11:56 PM
The smaller the house, the closer you stay to each other.
May 18, 2015 08:34 PM
In an argument between fools, whoever shouts the loudest, wins.
May 13, 2015 09:24 PM
Nothing more heartbreaking than your stalker losing interest in you.
May 13, 2015 12:30 PM
Started a WhatsApp group chat with 50 people. Messaged: Wassup? And left the conversation. Avenger!
May 10, 2015 10:45 PM
My wife just told me I need to come out of my shell. This is what happens. First they marry you for who you are: a turtle.
May 10, 2015 04:25 PM
People who add salt/pepper even before tasting the food, are the kind who make decisions even before knowing the facts.
May 9, 2015 09:17 PM
Remember the good old days, before mobile phones, when our thumbs didn't do anything and got fat?
May 9, 2015 07:51 PM
Remember the good old days, before selfies, when people had to self-immolate to get attention?
May 8, 2015 10:40 PM
Time is my spokesperson. It will answer everything. https://t.co/h8wisCHQKA
May 8, 2015 10:05 PM
There's a couple in front of me. And neither of them is looking at their phone. Freaks!
May 8, 2015 08:53 PM
Whenever you're feeling low, sit on a seat reserved for handicapped, and immediately everyone will tell you there's nothing wrong with you.
May 8, 2015 08:38 PM
There's been so many films about the future that showed flying cars & teleporting, but not one that showed people staring into their phones.
May 7, 2015 12:06 AM
Some people look better when they wear glasses, and some people look better when you take yours off.
May 6, 2015 11:31 PM
Kids don't talk to you when you're talking at them. The moment you start doing something, suddenly they've thousands of questions.