April 19, 2015 03:28 PM
People may never have the time to help you do something, but they'll always make the time to tell you that you cannot do it.
April 18, 2015 10:24 PM
Our kids only watch Hollywood movies. So if anything happens to us, they'll be calling 911.
April 17, 2015 11:43 PM
This generation will never know the thrill of answering the phone without knowing who's calling.
April 17, 2015 10:34 PM
Secret to Happiness: Have low standards.
April 17, 2015 09:52 PM
Just dance. Be rest assured that nobody is watching. Everybody is looking at their phone.
April 9, 2015 08:43 PM
Leaving the house on 17% battery is my idea of living on the edge.
April 8, 2015 05:17 PM
Even a tree that remains rooted in one place eventually becomes a landmark. Moral of the Story: Hang On!
April 6, 2015 10:49 PM
Forgive people. Or just move on to other people. There are enough people in this world.
April 4, 2015 08:44 PM
I may not have been tweeting recently, but rest assured, I've been reading all your tweets and judging you silently.
March 31, 2015 09:40 PM
When you take the road less traveled, you get mugged.
March 31, 2015 03:41 PM
Mufti asks for Indian army support to tackle #KashmirFloods. Later he'll thank Pakistan, Hurriyat and militants for 'allowing' it.
March 31, 2015 03:17 PM
Due to budget constraints, the Indian adaptation of 'Game of Thrones' will be called 'Musical Chairs'.
March 30, 2015 10:50 PM
Hate is bad business. You invest a lot of energy for no returns.
March 30, 2015 02:43 PM
There's no need to doubt yourself. Others will do that for you.
March 29, 2015 11:33 PM
Never heard a beautiful person say opposites attract.
March 29, 2015 06:50 PM
Srinivasan even fixed the #CWC15Final presentation ceremony and got himself to present the trophy.
March 29, 2015 06:19 PM
The cast of 'The Expendables 4' just got bigger. YoYa, Prashant Bhushan & Admiral L Ramdas will soon be joining Sylvester Stallone. #AAPWar
March 29, 2015 05:01 PM
She has quit AAP now. I think we all know what this means. Medha Patkar is joining One Direction. #AAPWar
March 29, 2015 04:51 PM
I don't understand this hue and cry about #AAPWar. The rule is very simple: Founders, keepers.
March 29, 2015 03:57 PM
A Punjabi friend just told me that Madrasi didn't bowl well today. Guess he was talking about Southee. #CWC15Final
March 29, 2015 03:45 PM
I'm sooooo happy Australia won the #CWC15Final. Begaani shaadi mein Abdullah deewana!
March 28, 2015 09:53 PM
Google Chrome has stopped responding. Maybe we are married now.
March 28, 2015 09:40 PM
Not believing in yourself also makes you an Atheist.
March 28, 2015 08:26 PM
"There are no free lunches." - People who're unaware of Langar
March 28, 2015 08:06 PM
A celebrity is someone who's well-known for wanting to be famous.