September 19, 2014 11:01 PM
For 50 yrs we've been saying "Hindi Chini bhai bhai" in a language that the Chinese don't understand. Who are we trying to communicate with?
September 19, 2014 10:23 PM
在印度，他们强迫我吃素食满洲和芒果果酱。我永远不会回去。~ Xi Jinping
September 19, 2014 08:49 PM
If Scotland had decided YES, what would have been United Kingdom's new name? Kingdom or Divided Kingdom? #ScotlandDecides
September 19, 2014 07:06 PM
I've convinced my wife to do one hour of meditation everyday. That's the one hour of peace I'll get.
September 19, 2014 06:13 PM
When you do one thing at a time, something actually gets done.
September 19, 2014 04:27 PM
"Eleven Jinping" is still better than "Jinping Jhapak".
September 19, 2014 04:21 PM
Did you see the iPhone 7 in Xi Jinping's hands?
September 19, 2014 04:08 PM
Hope Xi Jinping was also shown the music video of Ching's Secret noodles.
September 19, 2014 03:57 PM
Apparently, the one thing that scared the Scots was "Teen Guna Lagaan". #ScotlandDecides
September 19, 2014 03:43 PM
Thankfully, we didn't have any such voting in 1947. #ScotlandDecides
September 19, 2014 01:12 PM
Between a human and a vulture, the vulture is safer. It'll at least wait till you're dead.
September 18, 2014 10:30 PM
Judging a cricketer by T20 is like judging a writer by his tweets.
September 18, 2014 08:53 PM
Every time you narrate a bad experience, you're torturing yourself by reliving it all over again.
September 18, 2014 02:24 PM
Ever since humans have found Twitter, vultures have been out of business.
September 18, 2014 11:32 AM
Students... Choosing Sanskrit as second language can be really helpful, in case you ever plan to time travel.
September 17, 2014 08:22 PM
If I could have one superpower, I'll have China.
September 17, 2014 04:52 PM
No comedy makes people laugh harder than the misfortune of others.
September 17, 2014 03:54 PM
Sachche din aane waale hain! #bypollresults
September 17, 2014 02:09 PM
No greater achievement than getting over an addiction.
September 16, 2014 11:47 PM
One flew over the cuckoo's nest. So presumably, the rest flew under it.
September 16, 2014 01:52 PM
It's good to be single. Better than being an album.